"Home" - A Painting about Nighttime by Carolyn Wonders
As I made my way from my garage attic studio to my front door, I filled my lungs with the crisp, cool summer air and took it all in, as I do most nights. The night was alive with the earthy scent of dew-kissed grass and the faint aroma of nearby blooming day lilies. It was in this tranquil commute that "Home" emerged—a painting capturing the serene essence of my love for nighttime.
After a lifetime of living in cities or suburbs, my husband and I chose to live in a tiny neighborhood in an unincorporated town in the countryside on a channel to a lake. We love the beauty of the country. My neighborhood is diverse, not something you would guess, and rich in history and community. Going for a walk is really just social hour filled with friendly faces popping out of car windows to chat. One neighbor is helping me with landscaping and another neighbor needed help with her newborn, and I subbed as a grandma for a few hours. It’s something I always dreamed of: A house to call home, a place where I feel safe, where I love my neighbors. It’s peaceful knowing I've finally found my HOME—not just a house, but a place where I truly belong.
The sky is different out here at night. When it transforms into a deep, velvety expanse with stars that shimmer like gems, I come alive. Colors absolutely pop against the dark setting – the warm, chocolate shadows play against slivers of moonlight that dust over the tops of trees sometimes turning the tips bluish green. Light from nearby windows is crisp orange but contrasts with TV light, if any, and many outdoor lights that cast a cool white with just a hint of yellow, like lemon ice.
The stillness is not quiet as you might expect. Instead of city noise and sirens, a symphony of nature takes place - crickets, frogs, owls, and sometimes rustling from nocturnal critters bustling around. Often in summertime, the far-off coyotes pierce the night with their startlingly loud, haunting cries.
Strolling around at night or merely standing still and feeling it across my face is intoxicating to me. The night breeze becomes a moment of solace and reflection, bringing a peace I don't find during the day. These quiet, uninterrupted hours are my sanctuary, where artistic inspiration flows freely, a singular focus that lets creativity dance onto my canvas. It's during these quiet stretches, whether I'm painting or writing, that my thoughts materialize, each stroke on the canvas or word on the blue screen imbued with the hushed intensity of the night.
Yet, this feeling is bittersweet. While I feel at home in my house and neighborhood, I don’t feel at home in my greater community, nor this country. I sometimes feel like a prisoner here, especially at night. The fear of venturing too far from home as a woman in this rural area, surrounded by symbols of division and hostility, is a constant shadow. The stark contrast between my safe, tight-knit neighborhood and the surrounding area filled with political and social turmoil is disheartening.
I dreamt of living in a place like this my whole life, where community and connection are the norm. But outside of my little haven, I'm reminded of a different reality—a reality where nationalism, racism, and sexism persist. The state of the country today is far from the ideal I grew up believing in and later fought for. The promise of America as a melting pot, where everyone is free to find their path, feels distant. Instead, I see a nation where people have been given permission to be cruel, where education is devalued, and where women and minorities are still fighting for equality as they harshly and frighteningly turn back the clock.
Most days, the overwhelming desire to leave the U.S. consumes me. I yearn for a place where women and children are valued, where people aren't denied lifesaving healthcare, and where kindness and respect prevail.
Yet, despite these feelings, I'm not done with this house, this neighborhood, or this life. Not yet anyway.
My life as an artist, my moments of peace, and the community I've built here anchor me for now.
"Home" captures this complex interplay of emotions—the tranquility of the night, the beauty of my surroundings, and the undercurrent of unease. It's a reflection of my journey to find peace and belonging in a world that often feels at odds with my values. Through my art, I continue to navigate this path, finding solace and strength in the act of creation.
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